The pReview Re-viewing
(warning: Happy Ganksthiving!)
by Jeff Finck
Just a heads up, earlier this month, I forgot to take into account the fact that there are always new releases the day before Thanksgiving. That's just amateurish to forget something like that, and I'm really beating myself off over it. Up. Beating myself up. (Good save.) I'm such a dunce. It's kind of like not realizing there's a football game on Thanksgiving.. Or that the Thomas Cup takes place every two years instead of three. Just a rookie mistake. In any case, as a penance for dropping the ball, I'm going to rant a bit about these three November 27th releases just as soon as I manage to get my head out of my very nice, extremely round ass.
There are three movies (that I so casually neglected to mention) that come out the day before Thanksgiving-- otherwise known as Black Friday and Cyber Monday's idiot cousin, Wankle Wednesday. First and foremost, November 27th sees the release of Black Nativity, the long awaited sequel to Black Christmas. It stars Forest Whitaker, Angela Bassett, Tyrese Gibson, Mary J. Blige, Jennifer Hudson, and Nas.. And, based on the cast, I'm starting to think that this is instead, probably actually a movie based on Langston Hughes' Off-Broadway all-black cast play that was called Black Nativity. My bad.
I don't know how I forgot about the other two gems coming out on November 27th! One of them is Homefront, the tale of one ex-DEA agent's fight versus a town full of meth-heads. Jason Statham plays Phil Broker, a man who is laying low, living and loving life in small-town America with his daughter. After his daughter beats the shit out of a bully, that bully's parents get all pissed and sic a meth dealer called Gator (James Franco) on Phil. At one point, Gator manages to kidnap Phil's daughter, so Phil basically Jason Stathams everything in his path as he tries to get his daughter back. I assume the final showdown will be the most one-sided fight of 2013. This basically looks like Taken, except.. You know.. Everyone is on meth.
The last November 27th flick is the American version of Oldboy. Oldboy will be a remake of the 2003 Korean flick based on the late '90s Japanese manga. The basic story for the remake is that Joe (Josh Brolin) is kidnapped and imprisoned in a weird hotel room with just a television as his window to the outside world.. Kind of like most people nowadays, anyway.. (amiright?) Twenty years later, Joe is inexplicably released back into the world with no explanation and is challenged by his captor (Sharlto Copley) to figure out why all of this bullshit happened to him with a very limited window of time or else.. Stuff. Or something. The whole thing sounds like, just the shittiest game show, ever.
Stay tuned, I'm probably going to get a full December Breakdown up next week soemtime, and maybe rant about The Hobbit: The Deslation of Smaug, Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues, and 47 Ronin later in the month! Keep checking back!