The pReview Re-viewing of..
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1!
CLICK BELOW TO VIEW THE TRAILER!
(it is highly recommended to view the trailer and THEN read)
(warning: new addendum for the definition of Trilogy-- A four-part cash-grab series or group of three movies that, although Part One and Two are individually complete, it is necessary for Part Three to be halved because.. Money.)
by Jeff Finck
Release Date: November 21, 2014
We've come a long way since the initial cinematic release of that book series that, whenever brought up, people say is exactly like that thing and those other things and that stuff that isn't either of those previous things. Just a quick recap: It's the future.. I think. In the future, no one knows how to dress or name themselves. Also, almost all of the rich people live in a place called the Capitol. The Capitol is basically a massive city in the middle of thirte-- I mean TWELVE districts-- that make up the entire planet of North America.
Roughly seventy five years ago, the rabble from the (then) thirteen districts decided to rise up and call the oppressive dicks in the Capitol out on their oppressive dickishness. The story goes that the rebellion was shut down with extreme prejudice and then, in a display of oppressive dick flexing (I swear that's the last time I mention dicks), the Capitol completely obliterated District 13. In retaliation for the gall that the oppressed people had for speaking up, the Capitol decided to hold a competition every year called the Hunger Games. (He said the name of the movie!)
The Hunger Games is actually a barbaric televised event, in which two kids from every district are handed a bunch of medieval weaponry and told to murder each other.. Or else they'll be.. Murdered? I guess? In the first flick, a young woman called Katniss Everdeen (See?! I told you they don't know how to name themselves!) and absolutely no one else of any importance all compete in the broadcasted child murder-fest. As luck would have it, that young woman (played by Jennifer Lawrence) would actually be pretty ace at killing off the competition.. Or hiding from them.. Either way. Somehow, though, the other kid from her district, Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson), also manages to survive using skills like: being so short that no one notices him, being pretty useless at stuff, cake decorating (seriously), and pretty much just knowing Katniss.
In any case, they both manage to survive the Games with the help of both a human-cake person called Effie Trinket (Elizabeth Banks) and past District 12 winner, a feather-haired alcoholic called Haymitch Abernathy (Woody Harrelson). Team Keetniss managed to convince the world that Katniss and Peeta are in love in order to gain public favor (even though, Katniss may or may not actually be in love with someone else actually called "Gale"). This, of course, comes into play after everyone else is dead except Kat and Peet. Turns out, if they don't both survive, then they both won't survive. I worded that correctly, by the way. They threaten to kill themselves if they're forced to have to kill themselves. In the second movie, a year after Katta and Peetniss show the government up by being he first ever dual-winners of the Battle Reap-ale, these two are still milking that love train and President Snow (Donald Sutherland) decides, "fuck these fucks" and targets them for the next Games using good old fashioned American politics. So, you know.. Corruption and douchebaggery.
And so it comes to be, in the 75th Hunger Games-- also known as the Quarter Quell (because Q words don't get used enough and besides, hey.. Alliteration!)-- Katniss and Peeta are sent back in for their second consecutive year. Little does President Snow know, though (I swear that was on accident), a much deeper plot is underway. While President Snow is trying simply to get Katniss killed using murder disguised as exactly how the Hunger Games work (read: murder), his second in command, Plutarch Heavensbee (Philip Seymour Hoffman), is trying to get Katniss NOT killed. And wreck the Games. And go overthrow President Snow (okay, that was on purpose).
The 75th Games do actually fall apart, but only after a series of absolutely ludicrous events involving unlikely allies in the murder pits, outrunning acid fog by using old women as decoys, escaping being beaten off by super-powered monkeys, somehow discovering that the arena is a giant clock, and shooting a perfectly timed arrow containing electricity at the force field of the arena, which is actually emitting said electricity. Throw in some zombies that look like James Carville, and you got yourself convolution not seen since a Resident Evil video game.
Wow.. This set up took forever. (note to self: Stop doing sequels and remake re-viewings.) But I think we're caught up now.. Probably. I'm sure there's someone out there nitpicking everything I said for continuity, clarity, and correctness, but I'm moving on, anyway! As the second film ends, we see that Katniss has been rescued by her old friends Haymitch Abernathy and Gale Hawthorne (Liam Hemsworth), as well as a couple of her Games survivors (although, noticeably, no Peeta).. Also: Plutarch Heavensbee, himself! (I think you have to say the whole thing.. Like how you have to actually call the restaurant "Plutarch Applebees" if you ever want to be taken seriously when ordering your food there.)
The trailer for the latest outing starts off with a face to screen-face between Katniss and President Snow. Katniss just wants him to know that she didn't want any of what's been happening. But come on, who doesn't want to have to volunteer in place of their sister who was supposed to compete in the 74th Slaughter Games, then be paired up with someone you ended up becoming friends with, then winning said Games with that person, then becoming the face of the common people and earning the enmity of the State, only to have them underhandedly send you back into the 75th Hunger Games, where you still survived against all odds and then broke their toys? Really? She didn't want ANY of that!? That's, like, the dream! Anyway, President Snow ignores her blatant lies and tells Katniss Von D that she shouldn't love things like her sister or her friends or anything, really. It's the things we love that destroy us.
But the trailer lets us know that Katniss is not alone. The AvHungers have assembled. We got Katniss and her arrows, again. That kooky weirdo obsessed with electronics is back. Plutarch Lazenby and Gale Heironymous Hawthorne are there with a new possible ally, Julianne Greylady. Even Effie shows back up, muted and toned down, looking like Glenn Shadix from Demolition Man's sister.
The point is, the revolution has begun and all the players are in place. Even the random gun fodder, symbolically dying in the rain. (Actually, there's lots of symbolism in this movie series.) The government has one player hidden firmly in President Snow's eyebrows, though: Peeta. Whaaaaaaaa?! You ask, exasperated from too much reading. Yep. The one and only Peeta, Peeta, Wishes-He-Could-Eat-Pumpkins-but-Can't-Because-of-All-the-Mass-Starvation. He urges the rebellion to, like, totes cool it. For cereal. Katniss doesn't buy Peeta's new State-sanctioned outlook on life and demands that Peeta is rescued, much the way he always needs to be. She demands that this be a priority, or else they'll need to find a new Katniss Everneedy.
Just kidding. They clearly aren't getting rid of Katniss any time soon. I mean, really.. Like, everyone in this series has tried in some form or another to put this lady down and nothing works. She's like the Terminator of women.. And there have already been women Terminators! The rest of the trailer is filled with that emotional junk that's riddled with symbolism (I mean, seriously, literal flood gates of revolution?), and ends in a bangsplosion of a Katniss/Gale arrow team-up.
I usually use the last paragraph as some sort of stat block filled with relevant data with a call to action demanding people see this film in theaters.. But I'm going to save all of that for next year. Just make sure you stay tuned for..
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1 (2014) poster, traile and screen shots courtesy of Lionsgate
America courtesy of entreprenurial hubris.
Kobayashi image taken from Wikipedia, credited to Nathan, 5 août 2006. sur Flickr Page de l'image originale
Saturday Night Live (2013) screen shot courtesy of NBC
House of Cards (2013) screen shot courtesy of Netflix
My handsome face courtesy of my wonderful parents!
Resident Evil zombie and James Carville courtesy of science!
Applebee's logo courtesy of Applebee's International, Inc.
Demolition Man (1993) screen shot courtesy of Warner Bros.
All credited images found on Google searches.
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