The pReview (not really) Re-viewing of..
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
CLICK BELOW TO VIEW THE TRAILER!
(it is highly recommended to view the trailer and THEN read)
(warning: Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape.. Or else.. Stuff.)
(secondary warning: Not a full re-viewing.. Sorry.)
by Jeff Finck
Release Date: July 11, 2014
Hey guys, remember when James Franco played God with apes!? Okay, just a quick rundown as to where we're at: A long time ago, in a galaxy that is the one we're in, but in an alternate dimension that is not the one we're in, Charlton Heston fought a bunch of super-intelligent apes with the NRA. Much later, Mark Wahlberg did the same thing with karate and dance moves.. And, most recently, James Franco started the whole cycle anew because of science!
Unfortunately, the side effect of James Franco doing science turns out to be the near eradication of all humans. Double-U Tee Gee, Jimmy Francs. Now, deeply weakened by the original virus that turned apes into a bunch of nerds-- now being called the Simian Flu-- the remaining humans struggle to co-exist with the now dominant species on Earth. If there's one thing I've learned about being a human most of my life, it's that peace and co-existence are two things that go together about as well as James Franco and science.
I, unfortunately, couldn't write up a full pReview Re-viewing for this due to many factors, however, this movie looks fucking bad ass.. From the effects to the sheer ridiculousness of apes riding around on horses shooting machine guns.. Sons of nine thousand bitches! I just know I'm going to get way too excited in the theater and get kicked out for throwing my feces everywhere.
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (204) poster, trailer and screen shots and Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011) screen shots courtesy of 20th Century Fox
Springbreakers (2012) Franco courtesy of A24
All credited images found on Google Searches