The pReview Re-viewing of..
It is highly recommended to view the trailer and THEN read.
(warning: Strong language and reminiscing abound.)
by Jeff Finck
Release Date: March 2, 2012
The premise: Todd Phillips brings another unique view on the darker side of partying too hardy. This documentary style film starts off following three relative nobodys in high school as they plan a small party. Everything seems innocent until more and more people find out about it. Realizing they weren't invited, Rita and Lord Zedd send down Goldar and the Putty Patrollers to muck things up. Zordon, the inter-dimensional being of myth and magic, intervenes but then realizes that the bash is pretty kick ass.. then everyone parties their heart out. ..and sets everything on fire.
The trailer starts off with a bang: a random shot of three of the kids from Drillbit Taylor standing in front of their extremely flammable neighborhood with looks on their faces that can only be described as "We. Are. Fucked." This segues into the editor breaking the fourth wall by letting us know that this movie has already been screened last year to a group of people who had the following things to say (which I will shoot holes in like I'm Dick Cheney at a Harry Whittington Meat Shoot):
"The best party movie ever."
First of all, shenanigans on this statement. Clearly this person has never seen the classic 2003 film From Justin to Kelly! Or even better, the 2004 sequel to Baby Geniuses, Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2!
"An epic, dirty, hilarious movie. I wish I was there!"
Here's one quote that is extremely misinformed. If this person was there, they would miss like.. 98% of the action. Think about it.. it's like saying, "Man I wish I went to school with the Breakfast Club!" No you don't.. A) Those guys were all assholes, and B) In that school, if you weren't IN the Breakfast Club, YOU DIDN'T MATTER! This applies with the Project X party. If you weren't one of the dozens of extremely fit girls at the party, or any of the main three characters, YOU WOULDN'T MATTER!
"Funny as hell."
This might be the one quote I can agree with. As none of this happened to me or anyone I know directly, watching this is going to be entertaining as fuck. Bad things happening to complete strangers seems to be what makes the world go 'round nowadays, and this flick looks like it completely dumps it on Pasadena. (And let's be honest, I've been to Pasadena.. they kind of have it coming.)
I should point out that I am pretty positive that Martin Klebba (of Pirates of the Caribbean fame) shows up and punches everyone in the dick like a 4'1" Johnny Cage. This is pretty exciting because of two things: First, I think it's hilarious when people get punched in the dick-- I'm a big fan of that. And second.. really there's only the first thing. People getting their dick punched is the greatest thing ever.
"A parent's worst nightmare."
I really don't even need to say anything about this. Just do a little research on this other movie getting widespread release later this year:
Standing on the edge of the roof of a house, the bigger boned of the three kids is dared by the roaring mob to entertain them by falling onto a bouncy house. After some chiding about his weight, he screams he is a Golden God and scuba falls backward onto the air mattresses, camera in hand. This, of course, gets him laid so hard that his genitals will gain the mutant power of Reactive Evolution.. which will eventually decide that the best course of action is to NOT be anywhere near the action.. then teleport and leave this young gentleman without a penis. I hope he's happy.
"Like Superbad on crack."
This seems like a blatant fiction, as Superbad on crack would look exactly like this:
All of the comments and screen captures turn into the titular X in the Project X title, and we are taken to a candid supermarket moment, in which we find out that the party is, in fact, a birthday party for one of the main guys named Thomas. They are shown inviting some other kid in the store, to which he replies he was already going and that they should prepare themselves because he's bringing roughly 15 times the entire student body of CalTech. After the exchange, they rudely tell the cashier that she's not invited and she should mind her own business. This probably isn't the smartest of moves, mostly because they basically already told her where the party is.. also, who knows? She may be down to get freaky. If I can make one prediction, it would be that she will either be the one who narcs on the party.. or she will show up later in a bondage suit and actually be the LIFE of the party.. time will tell.
Most of the rest of the trailer is just a mishmash of party music and images of partying full of party kids, party dogs, party boobs, party girls, party skateboarders, party cannonballs, drunken fools, and I am fairly certain I saw Thomas Jane breakdancing on Oprah Winfrey's naked body.
I am not entirely sure why people show up with flamethrowers, however, if these kids started a bunch of fires, it only makes sense. Fighting fire WITH fire is a proven adage handed down by none other than Metallica and has worked repeatedly throughout history in the fighting of oil field fires, preventing the spread of forest fires, and not to mention that pesky hotel room that was probably on fire when Florence Welch remembered the familiar saying and lit that room up even more to keep the fire from spreading.
At one point, one of the neighbors finally grows some balls, calls these kids on their bullshit, and asks them kindly to shut the party down. Kids being kids, they tase the poor guy and trick him into full on slugging one of them in the face.. and then blackmail the guy into walk of shaming himself back home because of their editing skills. Then, as a last minute, calm, moment of reflection, the three boys start to work on an escape plan. . They are right: They have a full day to recover and start making repairs to the neighborhood before their parents get home. It will be good as new. In fact, they're planning on keeping their footage completely secret and only viewable by themselves and possibly small screenings amongst their friends for years to come. Yet, in this day and age of camera phones, police cams, firefighters, news cameras, and tattle tales, Jimmy Kimmel completely rats them out and fucks them over with his little show, Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Like I said, this is another unique look at the darker side of "that party you went to once." We've all had one or.. okay.. slightly more in some cases. One of the fun things the P.R. department for this movie is doing is letting people vlog on their Facebook site about that very subject. Celebrities are even jumping in on the action: Project X. This looks like it will be THE party movie of the year. Partially because that's how it is being billed to balls and back, but also because this looks like they went all out with the budget and writing. The other big reason is that the main cast doesn't look like your typical party movie douchebag. Kind of like a behind the scenes Revenge of the Nerds. The only downfall or backlash this movie is going to see is all of the parties across the world that will try to compete with Project X's volcanic, completely fictional, stylized events. So.. you know.. Good luck to every neighborhood in existence after March 2nd!