The pReview Re-viewing of..
That's My Boy
(it is highly recommended that you watch the trailer and THEN read!)
(warning: Contains uses of the word Fack, Fuck, and slight illiteracy.)
by Jeff Finck
Release Date: June 15, 2012
Adam Sandler plays Donny Levine, a tax evading lothario who is faced with a bill for $43,000 in back taxes and needs to get it quick. When he finds out his estranged son is getting married, he attempts to bridge the connection in a heartwarming, family friendly kind of way: with strippers, drugs, alcohol, and cursing! (Interestingly enough, that is the title of my newest self-help book.)
The trailer starts off with a hot tub scene to cement the fact that Donny Levine is basically the Ladies Man, except whiter and with a slightly smaller afro. The next day, after meeting up with his lawyer, he finds out that he's going to have to spend 3 years in prison if he doesn't pay the IRS the 43 grand he owes in a very short period of time. He has to come up with some get rich quick schemes, which look to mostly involve drinking heavily, hanging out in strip clubs, and utterly REFUSING to keep up with personal hygiene. On his journey through postponing the inevitable, he comes across a magazine that features his long lost son, who has since become the most successful hedge fund manager in the financial industry.
We find out that Donny raised his son, Todd (Andy Samberg), until he was 18 and then Todd ditched his dad for greener pastures: Namely, Leighton Meester, who plays Christina, Todd's fiancée. Days before the wedding, Donny bursts in on Todd's life and turns it upside fackin' down! After having it out, possibly over which of them is actually Andy Sandler and which is Adam Samberg.. Todd eventually allows his dad to stay and attempt to make up for all the terrible things he did as a father. Such as letting an 8 year old Todd drive him home after drinking too much.
When it comes to bachelor parties, Todd knows what the fuck is up! He Time Men's Spa!!!! This actually makes me think Prince Adam opened up a spa and FINALLY stopped hiding his true self from the world!
After nearly being poisoned (see: shots of water infused with cucumber, rose petals, and harvest sandalwood), Donny gathers up the party for a REAL bachelor party. So Donny (Sandler), Todd (Samberg), that old gruff gentleman from every Adam Sandler movie (Blake Clark), Will Forte, Milo Ventimiglia as a Marine, and fucking Tony Orlando all hit up the strip club for SHOTS! SHOTS! Shot-shot-shot-SHOTS! Which spirals into a mindless, all out Bachelor Party from the past, starring Tom Hanks and Wild Abandon (Which, I think is a stripper from Peru), and further careens into black-out, Hangover territory.. except they show us everything. Pool balls being shot out of strippers at Nick Swardson, girls making out (bachelor party staple), Adam Sandler and Ciara dancing it up on stage, Vanilla Ice getting Andlam Samblerg high, and I'm pretty sure I saw Nick Swardson get full on fist-to-face raped by the guy from Heroes.
Towards the end, I fear the movie will probably take a U-Turn back into recent Adam Sandler movie territory and find some kind of sappy, family value-laden moral. This is hinted at when Donny is reminded that he needs his son's money, but claims that he's starting to become attached to the idea of being a dad. And again when he witnesses a spat between his son and his fiancée, and advises that he sticks up for himself. The fatherly advice culminates when James Caan shows up as Todd's grandpa (no doubt) and they teach him how to fight.. James Caan.
The sap kicks back in at the end of the trailer when Donny finally breaks down and gives his son the gift he's always wanted that he never knew he wanted. Or needed. But especially wanted. But especially needed. He gives him a feather earring to symbolize their newfound bond between father and son, the bond, which is now soaring like the bird the feather was plucked from. Problem is that Todd's ears aren't pierced. So, Donny tackles Todd and pierces his ear for him right in the parking lot. How thoughtful!
The trailer gives us a bit more R-rating when there's a reference made to throwing up on, and then fornicating with, Christina's wedding dress. This elicits a Billy Madison like sense of pride in his son, as Adam Sandler hams up the background in the final scene of the trailer. This could just maybe be Adam Sandler trying too hard to appeal back to his raunchy, PG-13, Billy Madison/Happy Gilmore loving audience. However, I say, "Who fucking cares?" Adam Sandler is still funny. Even if he lost you with his foray into drama (Punch Drunk Love and Reign Over Me). Even if you hated Click and Grown-Ups. EVEN if you just can't get past the fact that Happy Madison is responsible for Bucky Larson, the last two Kevin James movies, or the last ALL of Rob Schneider's movies. There's ALWAYS something to enjoy. (Unless you liked Master of Disguise.. THEN, there's just something terribly wrong with you.) So yeah, I fackin' wanna watch That's My Boy. Fack!