The pReview Re-viewing of..
it is always highly recommended to view the trailer before reading
(warning: Contains more ICP images than you will be comfortable with. Also, naughty words that you will be comfortable with..)
by Jeff Finck
written : 1/16/2012
The premise: Denzel Washington plays an ex-CIA operative called Tobin Frost. Despite sounding like a cheesy bad guy name from a dime comic, Frost WAS the best thing to happen to the CIA since Operation Neptune's Spear. Unfortunately for them, he turned rogue and has since become the worst thing to happen to them since the Ames scandal! (Learn some CIA history!) So he drops off of the grid and reappears randomly to turn himself in at an American consulate in Cape Town. He gets put up in a "safe house" there, where Ryan Reynolds plays Matt Weston, and is sitting around being bored out of his finely sculpted abs. Out of the blue, Weston gets what is his first "real" assignment: to babysit Frost while a fuck storm of random dudes prove that the Cape Town safe house, and Cape Town itself, is anything but "Safe". Or a "House". So Weston grabs Frost and off they go on an Incredible Journey.. but with way less animals. But is Weston ready for the next 2 hours of unbridled, nose hair pulling action? Is he ready to be a part of the grand tradition of Denzel Washington being paired up with some random white boy? Can he follow in the footsteps of Chris Pine, Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, Tom Hanks, John Travolta.. hell, even Dakota Fanning!? Well, we'll soon find out.
A) "How did the Safe House get compromised in the first place?"
B) "Who is the mole?"
C) "How does Ryan Reynolds keep his hair so perfectly maintained through all of this action?"
D*) "Fucking magnets.. how do they work?!" (*Not an actual question that is brought up.)
A) "Why is Denzel Washington driving all of a sudden?"
B) "The mole is Brendan Gleeson, isn't it?"
C) "How did Frost know that Weston was bored?" (because that would explain the whole movie to me)
D) "In the age of the internet, why are people still asking how fucking magnets work?!"
Release Date: February 10, 2012