The pReview Re-viewing
March 16, 2012!
(warning: Contains cursing for no good reason. Also red band trailers! Woohoo!)
clicking movie posters will open their Official Sites in a separate window
by Jeff Finck
I had me a GREAT pre-St. Paddy's Day celebration and now it is time to rant!!! Your choices, if you choose to choose them, come from a pretty wide variety of places this weekend. Another TV series gets a movie, Jason Segel continues to be man-dorable, Will Ferrell shows off after learning Spanish, Adrien Brody tries to get a bunch of high school students to sing his praises, and Nicolas Cage seeks justice. My brain can barely contain my thought things!
21 Jump Street
Have you ever found out that a movie was coming out based on a TV show, and thought to yourself, "Man, I'm gonna fuckin' eat 60 pounds of concrete before I watch that horrible waste of an idea!"? That thought, and others like it, ran across my mind when this film was announced. THEN I saw the trailer for it and thought to myself, "BLurgggggghhh." Because I had a stroke when I saw how great this movie is going to be. Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum are thrown into the program that made a star out of Johnny Depp, a sex symbol out of Holly Robinson, and a.. uhm.. Cameo machine out of Richard Grieco. Most of the movie looks like it is going to be plenty slap-sticky, not to mention, complete unadulterated fun. In fact, I hear the cameos are worth the ticket, alone.. Plus, I really like when baby Francs (Dave Franco) gets movie roles! It makes me think that James Franco has a smaller Franco inside of him, and releases him whenever he needs a break from doing things.
Jeff Who Lives at Home
This is the story of Jeff. He lives at home. Thuh. End. Seriously, though, Jason Segel plays Jeff, a 30 year old who still lives at home with his ma, Sharon (Susan Sarandon). She just wants him to be more like his older brother, Pat, played by a goateed Ed Helms. As the trailer breaks things down, a darker, more sinister plot creeps out from behind the light hearted comedy it starts out as. Kind of like that time you read Chronicles of Narnia, and then everyone told you Aslan was Jesus and it blew your fucking mind. Well, the darker plot very prominently moves to the front, as Pat's marriage explodes, Sharon comes to terms with the fact that her children are making her life miserable, and Jeff needs to finally grow up. Over the course of a day, everything comes to a head and all three find out that family is the strongest bond there is. So they form an alliance with Hank, Eric, Diana, Presto, Sheila, Bobby, Uni, and the Dungeon Master to overthrow Venger, Tiamat, and the forces of evil!
Casa de Mi Padre
Will Ferrell buddies up with Y Tu Mamá También superstars, and hetero life-mates, Gael García Bernal and Diego Luna to bring you a Spanish mostly, American comedy about a man called Armando Alvarez. Alvarez is, of course, delicately played by Will Ferrell. The preview really plays Ferrell up as the straight man in this whacky take on the always popular, "telenovela." Alvarez works on his father's ranch and when it hits hard times, his younger brother, Raul (Luna) comes in to save the day. It all goes to hell when it comes out that Raul's been mixing it up with Onza (Bernal), the most dangerous drug lord in the history of the story for this movie. And then everyone fights over Génesis Rodríguez, who plays Sonia, Raul's fiancée. The story is very familiar and has been done a billllllllllion times. What has NOT been done a billion times is making the protagonist in this nearly all Spanish movie, Will Ferrell. Even the trailer plays up the fact that he's a relative unknown Spanish actor.. Brilliant! He's FINALLY tackling that most elusive of all markets with this over the top Mexican drama/comedy: Middle aged Hispanic women.
You know how Vince Vaughn always looks like he should have hit the snooze button one or two or 6 dozen times, so he could get some more Zs? Well, Adrien Brody looks like he should take like one or two or 6 dozen Prozac. Seriously! Who hurt you Adrien Brody? Who hurt you?! Detachment follows Henry (Brody), who is a substitute teacher at North Quay Secondary School in East Los Angeles. What makes his job so difficult is trying to reach these kids, all the while being a strong Latino influence in their lives. Luckily, he teams up with Crazy Joe and Rick Latimer to take back their school from the thugs that are tearing the place up. After one of them is brutally beaten, Shale, a Vietnam vet and mercenary is brought in to even the score. After all is said and done, Henry enriches the lives of students and teachers alike through very meaningful and thoughtful ways.. all the while, learning and finding out more about life than he ever thought he knew.
After Nicolas Cage's wife gets beaten and left for dead, Cage is approached in the hospital by Simon (played by Guy Pearce). (I should point out that, at this point, I no longer refer to Nicolas Cage characters by their intended names.. I believe that Nicolas Cage IS every character he "plays.") Simon offers Nicolas Cage a proposal. He says he belongs to a unique group of individuals whose goal in life is to right wrongs, vigilante style. Simon offers to have the attacker "taken care of" in return for a favor to be determined in the not too distant future. Wanting and seeking revenge, Nicolas Cage agrees to the shady deal and goes about his business. Sure enough, Simon shows back up and Nicolas Cage tries to squelch on the deal.. Luckily, Simon has ways of making Nicolas Cage exact revenge when he wants him to, because he said he would that time that Simon helped him out with killing his wife’s attacker that time when his wife got attacked and sent to the hospital.. Remember that, Nicolas Cage?! REMEMBER!?!?! Anywho, Nicolas Cage must then go on a rampage, or else.. just like Casey Jones.
Final Verdict (You know what? I think I'm going with vigilantes on this one. Here goes: Real life vigilante superheroes)
21 Jump Street: Obviously, this is the clear leader of the pack.. Phoenix fucking Jones! This guy has been stabbed, shot, had his nose broken, and still managed to dress up like a superhero and take down motherfuckers daily. Not to mention he's actually an undefeated Unsanctioned MMA fighter. He's kind of a Seattle beast!
Jeff Who Lives at Home: With a name like Purple Reign, you just know that Phoenix Jones has his hands full with this little lady. Jones' wife and fellow crime fighter, Jeff Who Lives at Home just may need Reign's strict code of living to grow up.
Casa de Mi Padre: El Sombra Negra. The Black Shadow. Redundant? Maybe. Effective? The only way you'll know is if you cross. The. Line. Seriously, these guys will fuck your shit up.. if you live near the border between Mexico and Texas. And belong to a gang called MS13. I know I don't want to cross either one of these groups. I like my body full of breath and blood.
Detachment: Mister Extreme and Urban Avenger.. they have one simple motto: The police just can't do it on their own. And all of San Diego should be grateful to have these two protecting them all.
Seeking Justice: Red Dragon probably fits here the most. Partnering up with Phoenix Jones, he has a no-nonsense attitude, and a matter of fact honesty. Red Dragon is just a man like everyone else.. Seeking justice.