The pReview Re-viewing Appe-Teasers!
(Warning: This is webpage is finally 100% fire proof. Even with all these sick burns... oooooh! Also.. there's profanity.)
clicking movie posters will open their Official Sites in a separate window
by Jeff Finck
Yo! This just in: Adam Sandler as a chick, Clash of the Titans meets the 300 for some reason, and Melancholia.. whatever the fuck THAT is! You may just want to sit at home and watch Rushmore tonight.. that was a good movie!
First up, The Immortals.. according to Wikipedia: This is "an upcoming 2011 3D fantasy adventure film." If that didn't make you throw up in your mouth, then I don't know what will. The plot is a loose interpretation of the stories about Theseus and his aiding the Gods of Olympus as well as humanity as a whole. The look of the movie appears as if it has everything Sucker Punch had going against it, but with less attractive girls. Although, Freida Pinto is very adorable. It seems to me like this new fad of tacking 3D onto every random action movie is akin to when all those spoof movies no one asked for came out. (see: Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie) Just a big sigh... And it's especially depressing when you try to find the movie poster for the Immortals, and the first forty images you find are of the Immortals from the movie 300.. To make the movie more appealing, here's one with Freida Pinto on it: (note: "From the Producers of 300" precedes anything else about this movie.. not a red flag at ALL!)
The Immortals: Probably going to die at the box office.. which is very, very mortal of it.
Jack and Jill: If it stays comfortably in the Just Go With It territory, this could be watchable.. if it veers off into Click-world, it may lose me.
Melancholia: Decidedly more exciting than its title alludes to.. but still.. probably not as exciting as spending $10 to watch Tower Heist or Harold and Kumar again!
(Seriously, go watch Tower Heist and Harold and Kumar's Christmas Jambouree, right now!!!)