The pReview Re-viewing of..
The Amazing Spider-Man 2!
CLICK BELOW TO VIEW THE TRAILER!
(it is highly recommended to view the trailer and THEN read)
(warning: If you didn't want Spider-Man to make fun of you, you shouldn't dress like that and commit crimes.)
by Jeff Finck
Release Date: May 2, 2014
A lot has happened in New York City since Spider-Man (Andrew Garfield) beat up that PCP Goomba from the Super Mario Brothers Movie two years ago. Remember when a bunch of aliens from another dimension invaded and were driven back by a massive, covert military organization called S.H.I.E.L.D., who put together a team of very public, super-powered individuals dubbed The Avengers? I think Peter Parker will have a pret-ty easy go of it, now, what with the help of heroes like the thunder god Thor, a walking ball of invincibility called The Incredible Hulk, and the billionaire, playboy, philanthropist known as Iron Man. Not to mention the fact that he can probably just phone up Charles Xavier and get his team of X-Men flown in any time he wants..
Despite the fact that he's doing this without any other super-powered help, now that Spider-Man is officially the Man of Spiders, he still seems to be having a pretty good time. The trailer starts off with him telling us that very sentiment. He's enjoying his new gig so much, in fact, that he's comfortable with being a big, showy, show-er off-er when saving people in very real, imminent danger. Sure, he loves everything about being Spider-Man, but that doesn't mean that he can just be so blasé with people's lives!
Okay, so Peter Parker loves being Spider-Man.. We get it. But does Spider-Man love being Peter Parker? Probably. I mean, he gets to bang out Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) whenever he wants. Also, he stops being a nerdy kid who gets picked on and becomes best friends with the school bully/star athlete. And apparently, he used to be friends with this guy, Harry Osborne (Dane DeHaan), who is the heir to freaking Oscorp. Unfortunately, this guy is clearly evil.. Seriously. Just look at him!
Everything about this guy screams, "HEY! I AM GOING TO BETRAY YOU AND TRY TO DESTROY EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND LOVE!" Harry and Peter haven't seen each other in ten years, so they kick off their treasured reunion with pleasantries. But before Harry can ask Peter to check out this fun new venture he's started, which centers around recruiting more people who also need to recruit more people, Peter blows him off with a spider pun and skips a rock across the entire Hudson River. Okay, for real.. How is it that people don't know that this guy is Spider-Man?!
Lucky for Peter, Harry probably isn't quite a bad guy, yet.. I mean, this guy looks like he's probably still wrapped up in a sex bet with his step-sister, I think. He does let Peter in on some valuable information, though: Apparently Oscorp has been spying on Peter for a while, now, and no one knows why. Aunt May reminds him of that one time where she was all, "Secrets have a cost." But then clarifies that statement by letting him know that the truth ain't cheap, neither. And what a terrible truth it is! It turns out that Peter's dad had been involved in some research that Oscorp was going to use for nefarious reasons and he just couldn't be a part of it. From his dad's super secret subway car lair beneath NYC, the story begins to unravel. Just a side note: At least this idea of a completely undisturbed secret underground subway car laboratory is slightly more believable than the first movie's idea that, not only is the same street under construction every six blocks, but every crane operator happened to be working at the same time and managed to reposition their cranes in exactly the most convenient path for Spidey to reach Oscorp Tower in a timely fashion.
As Peter is learning the truth, so too is Harry Osborne. He discovers his father's ultimate goal: Fucking with Peter Parker. Apparently. I guess. The first thing they do is skip Doc Ock's tentacle harness and The Vulture's ridiculous wingsuit (Seriously? A wingsuit will never work on-screen.) and go straight to electric eels and giant rhinoceros tank-armor. Peter must pay the price of wanting to be a hero, but I don't think anyone expected that he would probably also have to pay for the rights to using Lawnmower Man's likeness, too.
Harry, seemingly for no reason other than comic book animosity, sics Electro (Jamie Foxx) and the Rhino (Paul Giamatti) on James Spaderman and kicks back while Peter continues his long tradition of trying to justify putting all of his loved ones in danger by continuing to wear two-thirds of a spandex American flag. We can all tell that, at this point, shit is getting real because Hans Zimmer and his choir (the Zimms? Hans Zimmer and the Zimms, maybe?) start to beat our faces and ears in with dramatic musical tension.
Peter's choice to remain Spider-Man will take its toll, though. He's going to have to tame a Russian rhinoceros tank. He's going to have to beat the living fuck out of, what looks like, a feral goblin man on a hover-board. Not to mention, his greatest battle (and possibly silliest), yet, he's going to have to win a Dragon Ball Z aerial fight against living electricity. Spidey definitely has his work cut out for him. Oh, and if his problems weren't bad enough, he's got his loudmouth girlfriend screaming out his secret identity at the top of her damn lungs. Ugh. Women. Especially Gwen Stacy. Sheesh. You can't live with 'em.. You can't kill 'em--
Okay, with a lot of leeway given to the writers in regard to a lot of the changes made, as well as the borrowing they've done from Earth-616 and the Ultimate Universe in order to make Spider-Man a viewable treat again, I say, "Kudos." Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone are definitely on point and probably THE reason to watch this new series of flicks, in my opinion. The story is even kind of cool. I'll admit that the effects are borderline terrible, but dammit.. It always comes back to the love story, for me.. Ya know? This time around, though, Spidey's going to face an even greater challenge than his rogue's gallery: Trying to be a good sequel to a decent movie that rebooted a great franchise less than ten years after its predecessor-- And with just as many villains as said predecessor-- killed that previous franchise. I, personally, think they're going to pull this off.. Just as long as they keep those two love birds together.
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014) poster, trailer, and screen shots and The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) screen shots courtesy of Columbia Pictures
Spider-Man's Rogues Gallery, Ultimate Spider-Man #62 (2004), and The Amazing Spider-Man #122 (1973) courtesy of Marvel Comics
The Lawnmower Man (1992) screen shot courtesy of New Line Cinema
Horror Express (1972) screen shot courtesy of Benmar Productions and Granada Films
All credited images were found using Google Image searches