The pReview Re-viewing of..
CLICK THE TITLE TO VIEW THE TRAILER IN A SEPARATE WINDOW
(it is highly recommended to view the trailer and THEN read!)
(warning: Tom Waits has a rabbit.. And he’s not afraid to use it.)
by Jeff Finck
Release Date: October 12, 2012
The premise: Marty (Colin Farrell) is an aspiring writer and in need of some serious inspiration. In an attempt to create seven distinct psychopaths for his novel (appropriately called Seven Psychopaths), he accidentally finds seven real life psychopaths in this movie about his situation.. Appropriately called Seven Psychopaths. Marty's two nutter friends, Billy and Hans (Sam Rockwell and Christopher Walken respectively), are in the dog kidnapping business.. And subsequent retrieval business. Guaranteed reward! However, when they kidnap the Shih Tzu of Charlie, a local psycho mob boss (played by Woody Harrelson), the three friends end up dodging bullets and crazy people like Hughie Jennings dodges baseballs.
The opening of the trailer shows Hans delivering one of his freshly 'napped dogs to a lady. The lady, of course, does the only thing you should do if a guy shows up at your door looking like Christopher Walken: Completely blow him.. Because he's Christopher Walken.. I mean.. He looks like Christopher Walken.. And, dammit, he's earned it. She actually just pays him with money, an amount she deems fit for reward for getting her best friend back. Well, not her best friend.. Because she's not a man.. And dogs are “man’s best friend”.. But she probably knows a man. Hmm.. Her best friend by proxy? Yeah, we'll go with that. That was sufficiently misogynistic. Well, he snags the cash and jumps into a waiting car, being driven by Billy. It's the heist of the century! And by "heist" I mean "scam", and by "of the century" I meant to put a period after "scam". It's kind of like if you were a burglar, except you only robbed safes full of puppies.
Marty, being the curious and concerned friend that he is, asks Billy how the dog kidnapping business is treating him. Then he notices that Billy has a new dog. So, I guess that answers that question.. Kind of. The answer to that question should actually be another, more different question: Whose dog is Billy's new dog? The perfect person to answer this newer, more important question to the plot, is none other than Miss Cherry Battle herself, Gabourey Sidibe! She plays Charlie's dog walker who was relieved of her owner's wee dog by Billy and Hans. If she could help it, the shit would not have gone down like that.. She tells Charlie that she loved that dog like he was her own child. Now, that’s actually something that you shouldn't tell a crazy person.. Because they're crazy, and they immediately go to all the wrong places with words that they hear.
Charlie sends out some of his enforcers on a rescue mission and then, all hell breaks loose. Someone does actually end up finding Hans.. Only he's with Marty, now, not Billy. Cue Marty's inspiration extravaganza! As they're being held up and pumped for info about the Shih Tzu, another, different person finds the enforcers finding Hans and Marty, then proceeds to lay everyone on the ground with his hand cannon.. Except Hans and Marty, somehow. Escaping and hyperventilating their way home, they relay the sitch to Billy.. Who calmly offers to help his friend Marty clean his puke and the dead guys' blood off of him. Billy is a good friend. Marty, of course, doesn't see that just yet, and so he punches Billy in the face. Of note, Billy adopts a knit dog hat at one point, which I think is in poor taste. Dogs aren't that intelligent and seeing a human basically wearing half of a dog's head would scare the worms out of a dog's heart.. But maybe Sam Rockwell just chose his head gear as kind of a funny inside joke with Bonny the Shih Tzu.
The trailer actually breaks down our titular crazy-folk, starting with number one (As good a place to start as any, I guess.. Unless you're a surrealist, then the best place to start might be fish.)
Number one: Marty (The Seemingly Normal One)
Marty, in the trailer, really does kind of seem normal.. He may be a little bit neurotic. However, it takes a real lunatic to be friends with Sam Rockwell and Christopher Walken at the same time. Actually.. Damn. It. I'm totally jealous, right now.
Number 2: Billy (His Best Friend)
Billy is great with people. And animals. And mirrors. Wait.. He actually may be equally terrible with all three. At least he's really good at coming up with sure-fire plans that absolutely never fail, though! Wait..
Number 3: Charlie (The One With Issues)
Charlie is just a lonely mob boss. It's him and his Shih Tzu versus the world! It's like Tupac said in that song:
All I need in this life of sin, is just me and my Shih Tzu,
Down to ride to the bloody end, just me and my Shih Tzu.
Charlie really took that to heart.. There's a chance it was actually a Baha Men cover..
Number 4: Angela (The Hot Girlfriend)
Now, it seems like Angela is Billy's lady friend. All of her crazy lies in the fact that she seemingly doesn't understand the concept of kidnapping. She suggests giving the dog back, but as Billy points out: That.. Would be.. Dumb.
Number 5: Hans (The Non-Violent One)
Some of the netstuff out there is saying that Hans has a bit of a violent past, but he's since renounced all brutality for religion, as well as being just plain fucking awesome. For example: Gun in his face.. He stares right at it and literally* pisses into the barrel. (*Figuratively.)
Number 6: Kaya (The Passive-Aggressive Girlfriend)
Kaya.. Actually, they don't go too far in depth with Kaya in the trailer. She is.. Pissed? Or something? At Marty. Definitely at Marty. Maybe? Either way, the trailer lets us know that she is employed, and may or may not be pissed at Marty.
Number 7: Zachariah (The One With the Bunny)
Generally, when a man is sitting patiently in front of a house, cautiously and nervously stroking a bunny rabbit, using words like "dandy", he is not to be trusted. And probably has rabies. But in this case, Billy and Marty are the lucky souls to happen across such a gentleman.. And, as this trailer proves: Marty and Billy have such excellent judgment of character in the people with which they associate themselves*, so they invite him in! (*See: Numbers 3-6)
The last bit of trailer pops in some shots of raising general hell with guns and flame throwers and nunchuks? And finger guns.. The trailer, as a whole, just puts me in a fantastic mood. I don't really have another way to describe it. Sure, most of the cast is more than likely going to die in some ridiculous fashion, probably of their own doing (the man behind this flick is Martin McDonagh, the mad man behind that fantastic movie In Bruges), but the ride to the end is going to be a wonderfully necessary and totally blood/puke/laugh-filled carnival ride.. Probably mixed together! Can't wait!
(Side note: I used the Green trailer for the review.. But treat yourself to the Red Band trailer: CLICK HERE!)