The pReview Re-viewing Monthly Breakdown for July 2013!

The pReview Re-viewing

July Showcase!

(warning: This will not save you in the case of a nuclear explosion.)



by Jeff Finck
written: 7/2/2013

    Okay, I took a little time off from ranting about movies and I'm back!  Albeit briefly.. But I'm back!  I wanted to write another entry, really for one specific movie.  I know what you're thinking, "One Direction!"  But One Direction's live documentary/full length teen scream-a-thon doesn't come out until August, so calm all the way the hell down about that.

Spoiler alert: The twist ending reveals them all to be weregiraffes.

    No, not Hashtag 1D.  Nor will I bore you with all of the details of Despicable Me 2, the sequel to everyone's favorite kid movie-that-they-settled-for because Toy Story 3 and Shrek Forever After weren't in theaters anymore.  Actually, the first one was quite good and I really do want to see part two.  I mean, who knew that making your protagonist by hatebreeding Uncle Fester with the Penguin and giving him anthropomorphic Twinkies would be so damn entertaining?!

Actually, saying that out loud makes me wonder why I ever questioned why that would be entertaining or not.

    And I don't even want to tell you about The Green Hornet 2: The Quest for Reboots with Stereotypical Sidekicks.  Wait.. I mean The Lone Ranger.. Just The Lone Ranger.  Aside from the fact that Armie Hammer is pretty awesome (plus, his full name is *actually* Armand Hammer and that fucking rules).. Also, Johnny Depp is a great actor, no denying.. Oh, and every trailer makes the movie look fantastic.  Aside from all of that, there's just something wrong about perpetuating the eighty year old pidgin-speaking stereotype of Tonto.  Yes, something may be wrong.. But then, Disney did pay a ton of money and "made" it "right."  Which is probably why more white people are upset about it than anyone else..

But don't miss the next Johnny Depp/Gore Verbinski outing! It's gonna be race-tastic!

    Some people may think I should probably talk about how Grown Ups 2 looks infinitely more entertaining than the first one. (And while that may be true, I'm sure not going to say it out loud or type it onto the internet!)  Some people may want me to go really in depth with what I think of Pacific Rim and how it is Guillermo del Toro's totally, 100% original vision of what..

..all of these should look like. (Evangelion, Godzilla, T28, Gundam, Kaiju Big Battel, Voltron, Super Sentai)

    No, I won't touch Guillermo del Genius.  And we should really just skip right over The Conjuring, considering that when horror movies are dumped in the middle of blockbuster season, that was their studios' intention.  And I don't really want to talk about Turbo, the tale of a snail who basically discovers Red Bull.. I guess.. Or something.  Maybe, just maybe I should mention RED 2?  You know, Retired and Extremely Deadly.. Again.  So, like, Retired Again, but Still Extremely Deadly. RASED, if you will.  Actually, that sounds pretty good.. I think I will *will*.  Oh!  I know!  I should go on about R.I.P.D., the newest Ryan Reynold's movie since his last outing: Turbo.  Uhmm.. You know.. The movie I just mentioned.. That comes out the same day.. Hmm.. (Also, Mary-Louise Parker's second movie of the day, see: RED 2)  Unlike Turbo, though, R.I.P.D. is a live action movie that seems pretty heavily influenced by..

That's right.. NOT Men in Black the movie.. This is heavily influenced by Men in Black the Album!

    As we near my showcase movie for July, you can go ahead and give up ANY hopes that I'm teasing towards Smurfs 2 because, well, as a fully grown male, I'm uncomfortable with talking about how much I may or may not want to see Smurfs 2.  I could probably mention The To Do List which stars Aubrey Plaza and was put together by a group of people redefining the "teens getting laid" summer movie of the '70s by making it in 2012, setting it in the '90s, and hiring a bunch of "teens" who were born in the '80s.  And don't you worry your pretty little heads, I won't spoil *anything* to do with The Wolverine.. I know that no one wants me to talk at any length about Hugh Jackman and his shirtless body of X-Manitude, anyway.  Plus, I wouldn't even know where to begin!  I mean, after two really great X-Men movies, a third unforgettable mess, an origin story that reinvented more facts than a forty year old ex-high school quarterback reliving his glory days out loud, and a prequel to absolutely none of the previously mentioned movies.. I don't know what they'd even want me to say.

Hugh Jackman is hot? Yeah, let's go with that.

    This brings me to a movie that I doubt a lot of you know about (but should): Best Friends Forever.  It just dropped onto iTunes yesterday!  You may have heard me talk about it (because I totes backed this beast on Kickstarter, son!).. Or perhaps you follow people attached to the film on Twitter, or maybe you heard about it by using the internet, or read some reviews on Ain't It Cool News, maybe you saw an interview on Ms. in the Biz.. Perhaps you went to Slamdance?  Or maybe you have a best friend?  Maybe it's forever kind of friendship?  And maybe nuclear bombs are dropping all across the continental United States and you just happen to be on a road trip with the aforementioned best friend and remembered hearing about this movie on your dashboard ham radio? (Those are a thing, right?  I'm sure we all have one..)  Regardless of the when or the where you were when you heard about Best Friends Forever, the when and where now that you've heard about it here is.. NOW and MY WEBSITE.  Here and now:

Take that ALL other sources! (Click here for the iTunes dowload page!)

    In Best Friends Forever, Brea Grant plays Harriet, a comic book artist leaving Los Angeles for the sunny shores of Austin, Texas.  They have sunny shores in Austin, right?  Yeah, they do.  I'm sure they do.  Texas borders the Gulf of Mexico, plus, Texas is like the size of the East Wood Mall which means half the state is basically ocean front property.  I'm sure of it.  Don't question it!  In any case, Harriet has a pretty checkered history with L.A. (because, honestly, who doesn't?) and needs to get right the eff out.  She's leaving behind her entire life, except for her best friend, Reba (Vera Miao).  Reba agrees to go on one final road trip with Harriet-- But like, not final in a foreshadowing way.. I just mean that they probably didn't have plans to road trip again in the future.. Regardless of the foreshadowing that will come later.. So, like, I guess it is foreshadowing.. But like, fore-foreshadowing.. Foursquared Shadowing.. But I digress-- What was I saying?  Right!  The two friends go on one final road trip to Texas to spend some quality time with each other.  Reba should be grateful as balls, though, because she is literally saved from being completely consumed by nuclear hellfire by Harriet as, all around the United States, nukes begin dropping haphazardly all over bejesus and back.  Of course, being in the middle of nowhere (read: anywhere between Southern California and New York City), they are blissfully unaware of the whackadoodle adventure that will undoubtedly test their emotional limits, their friendship, and ultimately, their 1976 Pacer!

Interestingly enough, outrunning a nuclear explosion in the freaking Mirthmobile is definitely on my bucket list.

    Find, buy, and watch this movie, now!

Watch the trailer here: