The pReview Re-viewing Appe-Teasers for
(warning: Contains no nudity, however, I say Fuck like 6 times in my We Bought A Zoo review)
clicking movie posters will open their Official Sites
by: Jeff Finck
Well, it's Wednesday, folks.. I know that you are begging for me to tell you what to think about the Friday releases, but instead, I will merely "suggest" that you hate some things a little more or a little less. That said, here's what you are getting ready to read about: The Adventures of Tintin (not RIN Tin Tin..), The Flowers of War (which is not a metaphor for bullets), We Bought a Zoo (terrible idea, by the way), and Black Gold (no, NOT the Beverly Hillbillies sequel.. and calm down, no, there isn't actually a sequel.). Plus, a bonus Christmas attache of some seasonal releases: the PROBABLY way too dramatic War Horse, the ridiculous Sci-fi Horror film The Darkest Hour, and what will probably be the only truthful, real movie to ever be released, Scrooge in the Hood. (You did NOT read that wrong.)
First up on the docket is The Adventures of Tin Tin. It's the tale of a boy, defined not only by his hair, but by his thirst for adventure and mystery.. and probably hair. This is basically a star studded project: Nickelodeon pictures.. written by Stephen Moffatt (Doctor Who), Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead), and Joe Cornish (Attack the Block).. and directed by Stephen Spielberg.. and produced by Peter Jackson.. and starring Jamie Bell, Andy Serkis, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Daniel Craig, and Toby Jones! The preview is slick and the animation is solid and stylized. The CG makes everything look like inflated, puffed up, exagerrated versions of their 2D counterparts.. and once you get over how disturbed you realize you are by their moving parts.. it starts to work! (Backhanded compliment? Maybe.. but what compliments aren't nowadays?) Seriously, though.. even if you've never heard of this series before, I feel like this will connect with newer audiences, as well as keep the original fans. Don't miss:
(see: What the fuck is wrong with Japanese people from August 1937 to January 1938)
The trailer paints a picture of brutality and beauty, all told through the voice of a young girl who was a witness to this horrific spanse of history. Probably worth a watch, but will most likely make all of its money in the Indie houses and on DVD. Check this out, though:
I really want to talk about how War Horse will move you to your core and shake the very foundation of cinematic emotion.. I really want to tell you that The Darkest Hour will redefine the Sci-fi Horror genre.. but I really just want to talk about: Scrooge in the Hood!!!!! I mean, look at this thing: (click the image if you dare to see the trailer)
The Adventures of Tintin: Yahooo!!!!!!!
Black Gold: Ask Jeeves.
The Flowers of War: Bing, yo.
Mission Impossible: Google that shit.
We Bought A Zoo: Bing, again!
Scrooge in the Hood: AltaVista? (Remember that? Yeah.)