The pReview Re-viewing Appe-Teasers for..
December 9, 2011
(warning: Contains upper and LOWER case cursing.)
clicking movie posters will open their Official Sites in a separate window
by Jeff Finck
First off, let me say, last week and the week before that.. and even the week before THAT.. had some horrible choices for your theater going experience. I think the Muppets may have been the only thing in 3 weeks worth even talking about. And I know what you're going to say: "What about Hugo?!" To that, I have to say this.. I find it difficult to give it a fair review because A) I haven't seen it. I'll admit that right away. B) While the movie looks well constructed enough, the trailer for it made me want to rip my eyes out and throw them at the screen. (Don't worry, I didn't.. but there were serious considerations.) And C) Here's the main problem I have with it: It makes people vomit bullshit. With reviews like:
"The heart-shaped story may be the key that sets Hugo in motion, but this rediscovery of the cinéma de papa is most memorable for its technical wizardry and astonishing visual trickery." ~ Anton Bitel (Film4)
WHAT THE FUCK?!?! No one ever talks like that! Ever. I don't even care IF you talk like that all the time.. trust me, you don't. But when Martin Scorsese releases a movie, EVERYONE talks like that! Now, like all movies, I will eventually give this a chance, but I will not shell out 12 bucks to have Scorses talk AT me for 2 hours. I digress.. we are here to discuss the new round of movies, not dwell in the past! Let's get to it!
First up, we have a limited release flick, because I feel they deserve a shot at being talked about and given the proper exposure. Catch .44 is a movie that I hadn't heard a lot about. In fact, I hadn't heard about it at all until yesterday! The cast alone is worth the trip, though: Bruce Willis (always good), Forest Whitaker (never lets ME down), Michael Rosenbaum (who should be in everything), and Malin Akerman (a prettier, indier Cameron Diaz). The movie centers around a job given to a few of the characters by Bruce Willis. They are all supposed to intercept some kind of package, but with a twist: none of them knows that anyone else is intercepting the package. The trailer spirals out of control in a diner where the hired help has a big showdown. It kind of looks a little like the Usual Suspects meets Smokin' Aces, and I can't wait to check out:
Catch .44: Fuck yeah! Violent movies and Bruce Willis make the world go 'round.
Valentine's Day: ...sorry.. I.. can't.. stop. throwing.. up.
The Sitter: I'll give this a chance. I really like the 2 movies I think this movie is trying to be, and Jonah Hill hasn't let me down, yet!
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy: I can't stress this enough.. Yes, please!