The pReview Re-viewing
Appe-Teasers for
February 24th, 2012!
(warning: Contains profanity.. and more than one egregious use of Madea.)
clicking movie posters will open their Official Sites in a separate window
by Jeff Finck
written: 2/22/2012
Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday! This is Duffy, resuming live from Batongaville, where you can tell by the blood and caaaaarnage all around me that the final chapter in the book called pReview Re-viewing, has yet to be written. This week’s releases include a movie about a fish out of city story starring Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston. There's a military movie that isn't divulging a whole lot about its plot other than it stars active Navy SEALs. Amanda Seyfried and her eyes star in a twisty thriller loosely and tightly based on every psychological thriller ever made. And finally, Tyler Perry decides he would make a much better Mr. Deeds than Adam Sandler or Gary Cooper. And it wouldn't matter if he thought he was a better Godfather than Brando, we'd all still give him our money.
Wanderlust
Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston are a business power couple from the Big Apple of New York City. Paul Rudd plays George. George, in an unfortunate twist of movie fate, gets hit by a car, cursed by a gypsy, and then is forced to go on a life adventure with his wife Linda (Jennifer Aniston) before he loses all of his weight and wastes away to nothing. On their journey, they get lost, drive into a small town that is populated entirely by children who have reverted back to a primal state of living and force George and Linda to buy them candy and soda and stuff. Wait.. Scratch that.. I mean, Linda and George lose their jobs and can't afford their lavish lifestyle. They then have to drive to Georgia to live with some family until they get onto their feet again. Along the trip, they find a bed and breakfast that ends up being a Naturist (read: Nudist) commune filled with colorful characters and self-discovery. The preview is a bit deceptive I think. It is an Apatow movie, which means that the casting will reek of comedic talent and timing, however, when you actually watch the preview, you get this sense that it's going to be one of those feel good sap-fests instead of the normal, dick joke slap-fest.
Act of Valor
This is a movie that, when I saw the trailer, I just knew that everyone in the military got an erection. (Hell, I even went from 6 to about 8:30.) The trailer and promotion for this has been a bit on the "Hey!!!!!!!" side, but almost nothing about the movie's plot has been revealed, save a few sites releasing some sparse info. The plot alleges that a group of SEALs rescue a CIA operative, which leads to the discovery of a much more sinister plot: The destruction of the entire Free World. Taking it in stride, they move on and wreck everyone's shit, Team America style. I expect a lot of quiet reflection moments peppered with some high energy, intense explosive action, interspersed with stealthy, "Fuck you, Terrorism" messages.. and, rightfully so. This was filmed on the tail end of "Operation Fuck Osama Bin Laden in his Ass" and seems to be capitalizing on the current state of Patriotism. The movie will probably be more entertaining than educational, but then again, so is every other military heavy movie or game.
Gone
This should not be confused with the pretty decent, Affleck-centric, Gone Baby Gone, in which, a baby is abducted. Nor should it be confused with the movie Copycat, in which Sigourney Weaver is attacked by a serial killer, escapes, and then is targeted again later. Nor should this be confused with Kiss the Girls, in which a woman is kidnapped, escapes, and then must aid the police in tracking down the serial collector of women. This one centers on Amanda Seyfried's wide-eyededness, in which, she plays Jill, who is kidnapped and thrown down a hole in the middle of the woods. (Typical.) She escapes and is found by a random officer who attempts to identify the party responsible. They, of course, come up with the equivalent of having sex with the Gmork. (Fucking Nothing.) Cut to a year later: Jill's sister is abducted. (Yup.) Jill goes to the police again, and for some reason, they just refuse to believe her. Her only argument is that she was abducted one year prior, and was the “only one who got away” ..and now that guy wants his revenge! She'll spend the rest of the movie running around, almost dying, twists abound, and it'll just end up exactly where we all know it's going to go:
Tyler Perry's Good Deeds
The trailer sets us up with the portrait of a man called Wesley Deeds III. He's a 5th generation Ivy League graduate and a very successful business man at the helm of his father's company. He has the perfect life: He's rich, he has Gabrielle Union as his fiancée, a giant house, and his mom is Phylicia "Everyone's Mom" Rashad! All of this goes out the window when he meets the whimsical, free-spirited, happy go-completely fucking broke Lindsey Wakefield (Thandie Newton). Lindsey is a woman who cleans the building Wesley works in and is a single mom living out of her car. Taking pity on her, he cleans her up and makes a bet with his partner that he can turn her into a high class exec before the next fiscal quarter. Dan Aykroyd shows up.. Oh wait.. I mean, Wesley takes pity on Lindsey and helps her out of the gutter which leads to a "see things from the other side" change in everyone's outlook on life. I really like that this is mashing up Tyler Perry with Mr. Deeds.. Now we just have to wait for his next beautiful mash-up:
Final Verdict: (in honor of it being President's Day week.. I will do the Final Verdict as portrayed by former US Presidents)
Wanderlust: George W Bush's existence mirrors the events of these characters' lives: Goofy and falling apart. Possible nudist.
Act of Valor: Teddy Roosevelt, the most bad ass president ever to rule anything. This guy was basically a one man army. He regularly decapitated Secret Service agents with his genitals.
Gone: William Henry Harrison ~ He was president for about a month.. That is about how long this movie will be in theaters.. Maybe less..
Good Deeds: If I say Abraham Lincoln, does that make me racist? Only if I follow it up with "Yo." Luckily, I didn't.