The pReview Re-viewing
Friday Breakdown for..
December 7, 2012!
Clicking the movie posters will open their Official Websites in a separate window!
by Jeff Finck
written: 12/6/2012
Well, just a couple more weeks until the apocalypse and this week has a few smaller releases worth checking out before everything goes tits up. And one big one that might be worth a rental.. If there are still rental stores and televisions and DVD players in two weeks. First up, we have Bad Kids Go to Hell. Bad Kids Go to Hell is a movie based on a comic based on a book based on a nursery rhyme that was designed to teach kids not to count.. Or they'll fucking die. In Deadfall, Eric Bana and Olivia Wilde pull off a heist and try to escape into Canada during a blizzard.. Where they assume there will be less blizzard, I guess? Hyde Park on Hudson is about a fateful weekend in FDR's life when he tried to bang one of his sixth cousins. And the only majorly promoted flick coming out is Playing for Keeps. That is, of course, the movie where Gerard Butler is a down-on-his-luck former soccer player, trying to make good again.. But sometimes, making up for past mistakes is harder than you think.
Playing for Keeps
So we have this guy, George, right? Georgard Butler, we'll call him. A long time ago, he swept a woman called Stacie off of her feet. (Stacie.. We'll call her Jesstacie Biel.) Georgard Butler was a fantastic soccer player (or, if you’re anyone in the entire world not from the U.S.-- Football player) and Stacie was an amateur body builder (I assume.. HAve you seen Jessica Biel's guns?!). Unfortunately for their happiness, Georgard's skill on the sporting field was completely sapping all of his skill at being a good person and years later, he is now trying to redeem himself by coaching his son's soccer team. Oh, and every soccer mom with a vagina (not to mention, every Dennis Quaid with a killer smile) is out to toss sexual wrenches into Georgard's redemption.
Bad Kids Go to Hell
For those of you who don't know what "bad kids go to hell" means, apparently you were not raised in a strict Catholic household. Actually, Bad Kids Go to Hell is based on the graphic novel by Matthew Spradlin called.. Wait for it.. Bad Kids Go to Hell. It follows a group of six snobby, privileged teens and their battle with acne, fitting in, being spoiled rotten, and getting the affluent little balls murdered out of all of them. As each one begins dying off, the survivors are left wondering who the killer is. Could it be one of the other kids? A disgruntled teacher? A jealous parent? Alcoholic ninja velociraptors? The ghost of John Bender from The Breakfast Club?!?
Deadfall
Addison (Eric Bana) and Liza (Olivia Wilde) are fugitives from the law after a casino heist goes horribly right.. But then the getaway driving goes bat-shit, wreck-pocalypse-in-the-middle-of-a-blizzard wrong. Their getaway driver dies and then a cop shows up and also promptly dies of slight complications due to the fact that he falls face first onto Addison’s bullets. So, the two siblings decide to lay low by splitting up and meeting in Canada (like ya do..). Instead, Addison starts killing everyone he talks to and Liza bangs the first guy she sees. With the police in hot pursuit, they then try to house-crash Whistler and Carrie's domicile and hilarity (read: violent drama) ensues!
Hyde Park on Hudson
Much the same way we spent a week with Marilyn Monroe.. Or that time that Zacky Fron (sic) got to hang out with Orson Welles.. Now, we get to watch Laura Linney play "Daisy" (aka Margaret Suckley) and hang out with Franklin (Bill Murray!) and Eleanor Roosevelt, King George VI and Queen Elizabeth England..ton! (Their last name, I presume, is Englandton.) On the eve of World War II, FDR invites the Royal Family to his home in Hyde Park to bang around with his wife and mistresses.. Also, to introduce hot dogs to His Majesty the King's Speech and the Queen Mother of all Mothers. ..and then Japan bombs us 3 years later and we kill everyone..
Final Breakdown: (This week's Final Breakdown brought to you by awkward soccer moments.. Socc-ward moments, if you will. Fuck you, if you won’t.)
Playing for Keeps
Bad Kids Go to Hell
Deadfall
Hyde Park on Hudson